A Traumatic Tuesday

Hello friends! I hope your year is going as swimmingly as mine.  Actually, I hope your year is going far more swimmingly, as I have been riding a roller coaster of epic proportions.  Don't get me wrong: I love my life, and everything that comes with being a busy college student with a social agenda as long as my to-do list.  However, my life is anything but stable.  Random meetings, surprise assignments, and invitations to fancy events seem to befall me at any moment.  If there's one thing I've learned so far, it's that life is beautifully unpredictable.  If there's another thing I've learned, it's that when everything goes wrong, sometimes all you can do is laugh.  This principle was proved to me on the morning of April 1st, which in retrospect, is funny in a "slip and fall on a banana peel" kind of way.  To set the scene, I had an enormous research paper due this day in my Art and the Catholic Tradition class.  Side note: Who assigns a paper due on April 1st? That is asking for trouble, and at least a small degree of heartbreak, in my opinion.  But that was the day we had to turn in our 12-14 page paper with bibliography and a list of illustrations.  I had a lot going on in the time period proceeding this sad misadventure, and had been working tirelessly in my random pockets of time to complete my research paper.  Which means I spent a lot of time on Facebook and watching Youtube videos. Monday night, I was on page 11, and I felt like this was good enough to warrant a peaceful slumber.  In the morning, I set to work to finish my paper.  This included the classic college slacking techniques of font manipulation and adding block quotations.  I had to turn in my paper at 1:00 PM, at the beginning of class.  I finished working at 12:33, threw on a hoodie, and ran off to print my paper.  Unfortunately, and I suppose this makes problem #1, the printer in my apartment has rejected the color black, forcing me to seek printing services from the big bad library.  The rest of my day went as follows:

12:45: Get to the IC (library), out of breath from running, slighting panicked about being late for class, yet still optimistic that it might work out.
12:46 Log onto desktop computer.  It is frozen.  Log onto new computer after several failed attempts to type in my password.
12:47 Pull up email.  Panic at absence of research paper in my inbox.
12:47 Pull out laptop and try to send email again.  Laptop is crashing at the weight of 100 million tabs, applications, and documents open.  (I have no self-control when it comes to my laptop)
12: 49 Still loading. Apprehension ensues.
12: 50 Finally my email inbox pops up, and I quicky resend the email with my paper attached.
12:51 I receive three emails containing my paper on the desktop computer.  Great.
12: 51 After opening the email, I realize that I do not have a title page.
12:52 I pull up Microsoft Word and come up with a really basic title like Mary and Art. Creativity takes time; I can't always have fun titles like "The Secret Life of a Gossip Girl in the City"
12:54 I accept defeat and send the paper to the printer.  I realize I have no printing funds.
12:55 I go online and deposit money to my ID for printing.  Intense panicking leads to many struggles in this department.  I enter my credit card number numerous times, and cannot understand why my card keeps getting rejected.  After some reflection and prayer, it dawns on me that I never specified my card was Visa.  Oops. Finally I have enough printing funds to pay for a paper that I know will cost about $570,000 dollars because of its massive size.
12:57: I run over to the printer to print my cover page and research paper.  I am about to scan my ID when I remember that I need to send my paper to the color printer because the list of illustrations need to be in color.  After receiving the cover page, I return to my computer to send the paper to the color printer on the second floor.
1:02 I run up the stairs to print my paper.  More panicking.  Why won't my password work?  The horrible realization that I had put in the wrong password sunk it.  Back to the computer.
1:04 I return to my computer (thank God nobody had taken it) and sent it to print for the third time.
1:05 I run upstairs again, and have success with the colored printer.  I incorrectly believe that I can relax, and that a sigh of relief.  I go to the help desk to use the stapler.  It is defunct.  Several failed stapling attempts later, I am a bit of an emotional wreck.  My beautiful paper is severed by multiple awkward metal accoutrements, none of which are actually holding anything together. I remember my professor specifically pointing out how essential staples are.  The poor desk receptionist recommends I use the first floor stapler.
1:06 Downstairs I go, and the first floor stapler is less than ideal.  A couple of staples in (My paper is beginning to look like a middle schooler with some serious orthodontia) and finally it is somewhat secure.
1:07 I run to class, hugging my paper like a sick child in need of hospital care.  The wind is enough to blow me over and take "Mary and Art" with it.  But I prevail.
1:11 I am late to class, but at least I showed up.  I am disheveled, to put it nicely.  To put it accurately, most dogs and babies would be fearful of my sleep-deprived style.
1:12 Professor asks me to comment on the architecture of the Sistine Chapel. Unable to form coherant words, I tell her it "looks dark in there" Awesome, Katie.
1:12- end of day.  I honestly cannot remember what happened after this.


Even though this past Tuesday was one of the most unpredictably traumatic days of my life, I am still so glad that it happened.  The only reaction I could muster up after such a literal series of unfortunate events was to laugh.  And I truly believe that, amidst all of my struggles, God was laughing too.  It is days like Tuesday that teach me to always be thankful for my wonderful life, regardless of the road bumps or dysfunctional staplers along the way.

MY PORTFOLIO WEBSITE

http://katiejcondon.wix.com/katiecondondesign

If you ever want to look at strange art pieces from a variety of different mediums and inspirations, my portfolio website is for you.

Sky Mall Magazine: An In-Depth Look

In tune with the holiday season, I have done quite a bit of traveling lately.  My fellow readers will be pleased to note that finally, for the first time in what seems like my entire life, my flight out of O'hare did not get delayed. Not even for an hour. With a newfound freedom of daytime flying, I was able to achieve so much more than a grumpy nap with a jacket-turned-blanket and iPod shuffle.  I used my two and a half hours time and an abundance of natural light to my advantage by reading the Sky Mall magazine from cover to cover.  I know I will not be the first, or the last, person to say this, but there really is a lot of bizarre and worthless crap between those pages.  Following the typical Katie fashion, I comprised a list of the ten worst things in the Sky Mall magazine, as well as the three best products.

1. Lip Enhancers:

Basically they are little tubey apparatuses that you put on your lips to make them look fuller.  Now maybe I'm just cynical because I have no need for these things, but how is this supposed to work?  Either you'd be permanently set in the duck face, or have a charming red imprint in your skin.  I don't understand.

2. Travel Hoodie Pillow

I wish I was kidding. Who would want to wear this? While I agree that neck pillows can be comfortable and therapeutic, that does not mean they can be used a hip fashion accessory.  A hood is usually a sign of mystery or bad-assedness, but the pillow kills all hope for those dreams coming true.  In the words of Princess Mia in my favorite movie of all time, "If I'm not enough of a freak, let's add a tiara!" Or, more appropriately, "If I don't look like enough of a freak in a neck pillow, let's add a hood!" Perhaps this style could be appropriate in theatrical costuming. I am sure Darth Vader would love a hoodie-pillow; I cannot imagine anyone would want to sleep in that helmet all night.  In any case, this weird contraption will definitely turn everyone's head, except for the wearer.  They are pretty restricted by the plush horse-blinders.

3. NetChef

This is a digital archive of recipes and tutorials, and it allows you to share your cooking wisdom via social media.  NetChef would be really cool, if laptops did not exist.  Not only is this thing hideous, but extraordinarily unnecessary.  I looked it up online to see the reviews, and there weren't any.  I presume this is because nobody wants to pay $300 dollars for a machine they already have.

4. One of a Kind Shirt

Oh my.  This product is cool in theory, but judging by the catalogue pictures, it will be abused.  I would love to live in a world were one chooses cool fabrics that work together to make an shirt that is both interesting and aesthetically pleasing.  Unfortunately, I know far too well that the One of a Kind shirt service will simply be a vehicle to make hideous mens' shirts that end up in the back rooms of thrift stores, thanks to the pleading of angry wives everywhere. This button-down is only appropriate for a clown convention.  Seriously, save my eyes from this visual trauma.

5. Grimlock Costume Hoodie

No adult should be wearing this.  Halloween is the one exception. I pray to God that there is not a high demand for this. I think a dinosaur-head hood is even more dysfunctional than the hoodie pillow. NO.

6. Cami Wraps Bra pocket

You clip these to your bra and then put crap in it.  As a female, I understand the pain the accompanies the absence of pockets on skirts, dresses, and even pants.  That being said, THIS IS NOT A SOLUTION.  I don't know any woman that wants to look like they have a lumpy uniboob.  And especially one in Pink Skeleton or Love and Kisses.  I honestly feel sad for anyone who has purchased on of these.  This is for all the ladies out there: you are not a pack mule! You deserve better than to pile your phone, keys, and lipstick in your frontal region like a human kangaroo.  Even a fanny pack would be better.

7. Men's Fingerprint Crew T-Shirt

You know the model in the photo is only wearing this because he was paid to.  Who really wants a shirt with their unique fingerprint on it? It looks like everyone else's fingerprint.  And it is really stupid.

8. Mathematical Expressions Clock

Ok.  Telling time is already hard enough.  WHY MAKE IT WORSE WITH MATH?  I recognize I might be alone in my opinion because some people like math, but this is actually my worst nightmare.  Telling time should be quick and efficient, not a mental challenge. I am Katie, and I understand exactly 0% of this clock.

9. Mounted Squirrel Head

 I'll admit, a small part of me kind of wants this because it is so weird, but let's face it, this is SO WEIRD.  It doesn't even look that much like a squirrel, and I get the feeling that the target audience for this product is serial killers and adult children living in their parents' basements.  The only decor that a mounted squirrel head would go with is... well, I actually cannot think of anything...

10. This cat t-shirt

This is a close-up on a cat t-shirt I found in the magazine. This shirt is the physical manifestation of hitting rock bottom. Those featured on My Strange Addiction undoubtedly have the above cat shirt, in several colors.  I am actually upset that people buy this.  Cat obsessors, GO OUTSIDE.

I never like to leave things hanging on a bad note, so I included some of my favorite items in Sky Mall as well.

1. Sippy Wine Glass

An adult spin on an old classic.  You have to admit this is kind of awesome and hilarious.  It's nice to have a sippy when you're getting a little tippy.

2. Harry Potter Remote Control Wand

This has so much going for it.  First off, Harry Potter is awesome.  And Secondly, it's magic for muggles! Just like every boy and girl of the Generation HP, I was saddened when I did not receive a letter to attend Hogwarts.  But with this nifty invention, I can still feel like a member of wizarding world.  And finally, the lazy college student in me delights at any excuse to stay on the couch.

3. Bug Vacuum Hand-Held Electronic Insect Trap

WHY DOESN'T EVERYONE HAVE THIS? Honestly, if someone wants to get me one of these for Christmas, I would be very grateful.  Yes, I realize this is very similar to a regular vacuum, but if you've ever had a spider on your ceiling, you know why this invention is crucial.  I like that you can keep your distance, while still eliminating those eight-legged demons.  And it kind of looks like a light saber, which is cool.
So, there you have it.  I perused SkyMall, so you don't have to.  Think of it as SparkNotes: Shopping edition.  Have Merry Christmas, everyone!

Whimsically,
Katie

A Shameless Video Plug

Hello, Friends!! I know I have been HORRIBLE about posting actual blog posts, but I took the time to write this today because it is really important.  I have a great group of friends at Loyola, and in an intense three day period, they made this awesome video called Hamburger Host for Campus Movie fest.   Not only is this video extremely engaging, but it is also of high quality. I have come to expect this from my friend, Zach, who directed and conceptualized the five-minute film.  On YouTube, Hamburger Host has already gotten 912 views, and it's currently in the lead of all the short films submitted for the contest.  If they keep it up, there is a strong possibility that it will make it to the big screens of Hollywood! The top four movies from each school are sent to the national screening, if I understand it correctly.  If you haven't watched the movie yet, I strongly encourage you to do so.  I could not be prouder of the great work they all have done.  On a separate note, if anyone ever has good work they want to show off, I will totally talk it up with my promising advertising and public relations abilities. But it has to be truly deserving of praise! (I am only half-joking).  I just love to affirm people.  Perhaps that is the point of this blog post; a celebration of good things done by talented individuals. And we are all deeply gifted in one way or another.  As I always say, "an artist is not a special kind of person, a person is a special kind of artist." I hereby call everybody to pick up some proverbial paint and make a real-life masterpiece.  And... Action!

Whimsically,
Katie

You're Invited to Read My New Blog Post!

My dear readers,

I am terribly sorry for the absence of blog posts recently.  Adjusting to a new school year, apartment, and new responsibilities has consumed most of my time.  That being said, I do intend to write new blog posts whenever I can.  Today's blog post is a fun flash back for my 90's girls! Recently, I stumbled upon some old Mary-Kate and Ashley videos. The "You're Invited!" videos are absolutely classic, ranging from a beach bash to a homework party.  I highly encourage you all to watch these videos as a young adult, because they are not only hilariously cheesy, but also wonderfully reflective of the 90's girl charisma.    As a gawky 10-year old girl with too many freckles and an unfortunate eye patch, my favorite Mary Kate and Ashley video was You're Invited to A Fashion Party! As I watch it in the modern day, I am made painfully aware of its ridiculousness.  Consequently, I am starting to realize how it has shaped me in awkwardly personal ways.  Without furthur ado, I have compiled a list of reasons as to why I have been so deeply influenced by the Fashion Party.  

( Just as a note, this list will make more sense if you watch the video)

1. I definitely thought that boys just "showed up" at your doorstep to say hi.  This was always a source of pain for me.  Cute boys never showed up at my doorstep and told me they liked my hats.  

2.  There is a random red-haired girl in this episode who is OBSESSED with boys.  I find this a little extreme, even for middle schoolers.   This doesn't really influence my life, I just wanted to make a comment about it.
3.  At the beginning of the episode, the girls sing a song about fashion junior high.  I was in love.  I thought that somewhere in the world this existed, and then I hated real school for quite some time.  I was bitter that I did not get to study History of Purses and Accessories 101. It was then that I began to sketch outfits and models instead of line graphs.   There is a moment when Ashley expresses how learning about math and science are boring, and she'd rather just study fashion. I too felt this frustration.
 4. The girls are given a tour of FIDM (Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising) by Cute Boy's sister.  I found this tour to be quite exciting as a pre-teen.  For the day I watched that video, I swore that I would go to FIDM, because that is what fashion designers do.  I think I actually told others that this was my plan, up until about senior year of high school, when reality set in.
5.  Remember the boy-crazy girl from #2? She wishes for cute boys to show up at FIDM. And then they do.  WHAT?! As if there would really be a surplus of cute, straight, boys at a fashion design school.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  However, at the tender age of 10, I thought this was entirely possible.  Sure, I would go to fashion school, and date a multitude of attractive men studying fashion.  I am sure some of you will like to argue that I am being stereotypical, but I once looked FIDM up on college prowler.... It is a fantastic school, but they did get an F- for available men.  Just a friendly observation, made by a dreaming realist.
6. Mary-Kate jokes about how using scissors is "cutting edge" and explains mannequins as "standing room only."  This is about as far as my humor has evolved.  I may or may not have actually thought those quips were funny.
7.  According to the video, enormous black clogs go perfectly with a light pink dress.  I cannot believe I thought those chunky sandals were cute.  Honestly, 90's girls, what were we thinking? The grandma shoes paired with floral capris and tank tops will forever stay in the archives.
8. Every time a song is sung about something, their dreams come true.  I sincerely considered this to be effective; I sing a song about a newBarbie, I get a new Barbie. I sing a song about wanting to go to the movies and viola! We go to the movies.  Surprisingly, I was mistaken.  Singing does not gain you your desires, it just gets you a swift punch in the trachea.
9. Speaking of songs, I am pretty sure I learned all of the music in the show and truly believed it to be high quality.  With lyrics such as "A new tomorrow, we'll begin today," I am inspired to follow my dreams.  As far as twins' vocals go, Simon Cowell would have pulled these girls off of X-factor faster than you can say a really fast word. Even so, it makes me smile. I still listen to the Cheetah Girls on a regular basis, so obviously my musical maturity has taken flight.
10. The Olson twins design a dress for their tour guide friend that basically looks like an outfit for a lady of the evening.  Did anyone else find this troubling? My naive 10-year- old mind loved it.  Thankfully my understanding of appropriate dress evolved.
11.  At lunch, the girls drink these mystical pastel drinks.  To this day, I have wondered what they were, and how I can acquire one.  I am actually bothered by this mystery, and I think about it far more frequently than any twenty-something should.
12. The girls were given advice about boys who break their hearts.  It was "Tie them up and feed them to the sharks."  I find this to be very insightful.  It is a shame that I am not in closer proximity to an ocean, because I know a few gentlemen who would make great fish food.  ;)
13. According to Cute Boy's sister, boys like girls because they are pretty, smart, and nice.  Otherwise, you are doomed.
14. After watching Fashion Party, I really understood my inherent gift and talent of being a great shopper.
15. That clipped up hairstyle from the fashion show? I wore my hair like that until junior year of high school.  Mary Kate and Ashley are the reason why I thought having a head shaped like a scared peacock was fashionable.

So there you have it. Mary-Kate and Ashley are very influential; both in style and in life.  While sometimes delusional and always cheesy, I wouldn't have it any other way.  Take a look at your favorite books, movies, and television shows from the past.  You might find out more about yourself than you thought!

Whimsically,
Katie

My Biggest Pet Peeves

 I was eating a lovely breakfast with some of my dearest friends the other day, and we started to talk about things that bother us.  For some people, eating near the bathroom is a traumatic experience.  Others are bothered by inconsistencies in grammar or poor theological conclusions.  My dad hates the sound of a fork clicking against one’s teeth.  All of these strange and specific annoyances got me thinking.  What are my biggest pet peeves? As it turns out, I think I am bothered by a lot of various occurrences.  I sincerely hope this blog post does not reflect my inner crazy too much.  Or do I?  *Cue maniacal laughter followed by a lone hiccup*

 1. Styrofoam.  … I don’t know what it is about this material, or the sound it makes, but the feeling I get when I interact with Styrofoam is comparable to that of nails on a chalkboard.  Even thinking about it makes me feel all squirrely inside.  I wish I could explain my aversion to this mysterious material, but alas, I have no justifications. 

      2. When people say “for all intensive purposes.” The phrase is “for all intents and purposes” GET IT RIGHT.

      3. People who sass me for not knowing song lyrics.  I just do not know them, ok?! That is who I am.  I cannot magically remember the words to everything, all the time.

       4.  Wearing two different shoes.  Even if they are the same height, wearing two separate shoes feels wrong.  I know this from my many failed attempts to be as mismatched as possible for all of the dress up days I have participated in at school.

      5. Wet things in my ears.  Like wet willies.  I get the worst goose bumps from that! Then again, that is probably everybody’s pet peeve…

6  6.  The word pet peeve.  What does that even mean?

7  7. All those random times in live when I get the shivers.  You know how they say if you have a shiver, it means somebody stepped on your future grave? I think of that every time now, and it freaks me out! Why does this happen to people?

   8.  Mosquitos.  Somebody told me the other day that scientists have proven that the world could be completely functional without mosquitos.  Essentially, the inflict itchiness for no finer purpose whatsoever.  WHY, GOD, WHY?

   9. When the peel on a fruit is stuck on so tight that it will not come off.  I hate this!  Because then you pull of the skin so hard that the sweet juicy fruit goodness comes with it, and ultimately you’re just left with a pulverized pulp that greatly resembles modern art.   I suppose there is some beauty in that.

    10. Clamshell packaging.  This is clearly the work of the devil.  It is IMPOSSIBLE to open up anything that is suctioned together in plastic like that.  This sadistic plastic casing is like an obstacle course that preys on my weaknesses as a product opener as well as my emotional stability. 

1   11.  Crumbs.  I really can’t stand being around old food; it is like ants crawling all over my body or something.

1   12.  When stores do not carry Parmesan goldfish.  Seriously, it is the superior flavor of all animal shaped crackers. Parmesan is the king! It should be everywhere.

1  13.  When lightbulbs burn out.  I don’t know about you, but I feel as if this happens to me at the most inconvenient times.

1  14. Buffering.  Also something that happens at the worst possible times, buffering makes any viewing party far more painful.  We live in the modern world, nobody has time for that thing called “patience”

1  15.  People that are only friends with me because I have a pool.  If you ignore me during the winter months, and then all the sudden summer hits and you wanna “hang out at my house,” I know something is up.  Can’t we just be friends all the time?

1 16.  Cats.  I like to meow, but all felines irk me.  It may be my extreme allergy to them.  Or perhaps I am just fortunate enough to have that as an excuse. 

1  17.  People who are mean. Make smiles instead of tears! Hugs not drugs.  Niceness, not ice-ness.  Poetry is not my forte.

    18. People who don’t pick up their dog’s poop.  I don’t want that on my lawn!

1   19. Waiting for the light to change to walk.  Statistically, one waits the longest at the crosswalk when they are carrying heavy things in unbearable weather circumstances. It is fact.

2   20.  Loosing only one earring or one sock.  What are you supposed to do after that? Throwing away its counterpart is a depressing reality

Love is All You Need

This summer, I worked as a mentor for middle school girls at a youth achievement program.  It was a really fun job, and I loved getting to know so many people! The job application process required us to write two essays describing why we wanted to work for the program.  I spent a lot of time on mine, and they are very personal to me.  For my blog post this week, (sorry, it has been a long time!) I combined and edited my essays.  I really wanted to share with everyone my personal struggle as a young girl, and the great things that came out of that. Like I said to my girls, "Life is like photography; you need the negatives to develop!" I know this week's entry is all touchy-feely, but it is my blog after all!  Here's to hoping everyone had as great of a summer as I did.

It is always said that middle school is a torturous time in a person’s life.  My adolescence was no different.  When I was in eighth grade, I felt completely and utterly lost. All of my friends essentially abandoned me, and my self-confidence spiraled into the ground.  My insecurity led me to view myself as the ultimate victim of misfortune. Negativity dominated my vocabulary; stupid, ugly, and pathetic were descriptive adjectives I frequently employed.   Pining for the half-hearted compliments of my peers, I equated pity with the love of real, mutual friendships because I could not discern the difference.  It took years to realize how flawed my thinking was, and how much more productive I could have been if I had chosen to adopt a more positive outlook on life, and on myself.   Struggling to maintain good relationships in middle school was excruciating, but it also made me extraordinarily thankful of the wonderful people I befriended in years following. I have experienced God’s love to me in the friendships I have now.  He is there in laughter and smiles, encouragements and compliments, and in the sincerities of true companionships. God rained blessings down upon me when He placed so many faithful, loving, and compassionate friends in my life.  I pray that the same gift of friendship I have received can also be afforded to others.

I think youth are particularly fearful of solitude.  While spending time in personal reflection and prayer is essential, so too is the love and affection we experience with others.  Young adolescents especially need to have a strong network of kind and loyal friends to help them navigate the difficult paths of school, peer pressure, relationships and transition.  In reality, building real and meaningful friendships does not come easily.  My relationships in middle school suffered because I was so invested in convincing people to like me that I forgot to be a present and caring friend. I blamed everyone else for my own shortcomings.  My parents gave me advice that undoubtedly changed my life for the better.  My dad suggested that I ask other people questions about themselves, and get to deeply know others as much as possible.  Focusing conversations on another person encouraged me to become more selfless and giving of myself, and thus strengthened all of my bonds. My mom recommended that I pray for the people that I felt had excluded me or rejected me as a friend. At times, it was challenging to ask God to bless those who had brought me pain, but I was astounded at how much peace and resolve I felt.  Little by little, my relationships with others began to assemble or reassemble.  When I finally let go of all of the reasons I felt betrayed or victimized, I saw all of the gifts God had bestowed upon me.  His love had been there all along, but I was blinded by my obstinacy. Now, I am so grateful for His presence in my life.

In reflecting on my previous experiences, I realize that life does not have to be so traumatic for all young people.  So often we accept that growing up is difficult, and therefore nothing can be done to ease this passage into adulthood. I truly believe that if we can learn to love and respect ourselves, even in environments where insecurity runs rampant, the world would shine a lot brighter.  I don’t know who is reading this, and I am deeply impressed you made it all the way to the end, but I want to inspire you to say a pray for the young ones.  Their every day rests in uncertainty and a desire for acceptance, but they forget how loved they truly are.  It is up to us to be an example for the generations following of confidence, positivity, and unconditional love.