Love is All You Need

This summer, I worked as a mentor for middle school girls at a youth achievement program.  It was a really fun job, and I loved getting to know so many people! The job application process required us to write two essays describing why we wanted to work for the program.  I spent a lot of time on mine, and they are very personal to me.  For my blog post this week, (sorry, it has been a long time!) I combined and edited my essays.  I really wanted to share with everyone my personal struggle as a young girl, and the great things that came out of that. Like I said to my girls, "Life is like photography; you need the negatives to develop!" I know this week's entry is all touchy-feely, but it is my blog after all!  Here's to hoping everyone had as great of a summer as I did.

It is always said that middle school is a torturous time in a person’s life.  My adolescence was no different.  When I was in eighth grade, I felt completely and utterly lost. All of my friends essentially abandoned me, and my self-confidence spiraled into the ground.  My insecurity led me to view myself as the ultimate victim of misfortune. Negativity dominated my vocabulary; stupid, ugly, and pathetic were descriptive adjectives I frequently employed.   Pining for the half-hearted compliments of my peers, I equated pity with the love of real, mutual friendships because I could not discern the difference.  It took years to realize how flawed my thinking was, and how much more productive I could have been if I had chosen to adopt a more positive outlook on life, and on myself.   Struggling to maintain good relationships in middle school was excruciating, but it also made me extraordinarily thankful of the wonderful people I befriended in years following. I have experienced God’s love to me in the friendships I have now.  He is there in laughter and smiles, encouragements and compliments, and in the sincerities of true companionships. God rained blessings down upon me when He placed so many faithful, loving, and compassionate friends in my life.  I pray that the same gift of friendship I have received can also be afforded to others.

I think youth are particularly fearful of solitude.  While spending time in personal reflection and prayer is essential, so too is the love and affection we experience with others.  Young adolescents especially need to have a strong network of kind and loyal friends to help them navigate the difficult paths of school, peer pressure, relationships and transition.  In reality, building real and meaningful friendships does not come easily.  My relationships in middle school suffered because I was so invested in convincing people to like me that I forgot to be a present and caring friend. I blamed everyone else for my own shortcomings.  My parents gave me advice that undoubtedly changed my life for the better.  My dad suggested that I ask other people questions about themselves, and get to deeply know others as much as possible.  Focusing conversations on another person encouraged me to become more selfless and giving of myself, and thus strengthened all of my bonds. My mom recommended that I pray for the people that I felt had excluded me or rejected me as a friend. At times, it was challenging to ask God to bless those who had brought me pain, but I was astounded at how much peace and resolve I felt.  Little by little, my relationships with others began to assemble or reassemble.  When I finally let go of all of the reasons I felt betrayed or victimized, I saw all of the gifts God had bestowed upon me.  His love had been there all along, but I was blinded by my obstinacy. Now, I am so grateful for His presence in my life.

In reflecting on my previous experiences, I realize that life does not have to be so traumatic for all young people.  So often we accept that growing up is difficult, and therefore nothing can be done to ease this passage into adulthood. I truly believe that if we can learn to love and respect ourselves, even in environments where insecurity runs rampant, the world would shine a lot brighter.  I don’t know who is reading this, and I am deeply impressed you made it all the way to the end, but I want to inspire you to say a pray for the young ones.  Their every day rests in uncertainty and a desire for acceptance, but they forget how loved they truly are.  It is up to us to be an example for the generations following of confidence, positivity, and unconditional love.