This summer, I worked as a mentor for middle school girls at a youth achievement program. It was a really fun job, and I loved getting to know so many people! The job application process required us to write two essays describing why we wanted to work for the program. I spent a lot of time on mine, and they are very personal to me. For my blog post this week, (sorry, it has been a long time!) I combined and edited my essays. I really wanted to share with everyone my personal struggle as a young girl, and the great things that came out of that. Like I said to my girls, "Life is like photography; you need the negatives to develop!" I know this week's entry is all touchy-feely, but it is my blog after all! Here's to hoping everyone had as great of a summer as I did.
It is always said that middle
school is a torturous time in a person’s life.
My adolescence was no different.
When I was in eighth grade, I felt completely and utterly lost. All of
my friends essentially abandoned me, and my self-confidence spiraled into the
ground. My insecurity led me to view
myself as the ultimate victim of misfortune. Negativity dominated my vocabulary;
stupid, ugly, and pathetic were descriptive adjectives I frequently employed. Pining for the half-hearted compliments of my
peers, I equated pity with the love of real, mutual friendships because I could
not discern the difference. It took
years to realize how flawed my thinking was, and how much more productive I
could have been if I had chosen to adopt a more positive outlook on life, and
on myself. Struggling to maintain good
relationships in middle school was excruciating, but it also made me
extraordinarily thankful of the wonderful people I befriended in years
following. I have experienced God’s love to me in the friendships I have
now. He is there in laughter and smiles,
encouragements and compliments, and in the sincerities of true companionships.
God rained blessings down upon me when He placed so many faithful, loving, and compassionate
friends in my life. I pray that the same
gift of friendship I have received can also be afforded to others.
I think youth are particularly
fearful of solitude. While spending time
in personal reflection and prayer is essential, so too is the love and
affection we experience with others. Young
adolescents especially need to have a strong network of kind and loyal friends
to help them navigate the difficult paths of school, peer pressure,
relationships and transition. In
reality, building real and meaningful friendships does not come easily. My relationships in middle school suffered
because I was so invested in convincing people to like me that I forgot to be a
present and caring friend. I blamed everyone else for my own shortcomings. My parents gave me advice that undoubtedly changed
my life for the better. My dad suggested
that I ask other people questions about themselves, and get to deeply know
others as much as possible. Focusing
conversations on another person encouraged me to become more selfless and
giving of myself, and thus strengthened all of my bonds. My mom recommended
that I pray for the people that I felt had excluded me or rejected me as a
friend. At times, it was challenging to ask God to bless those who had brought
me pain, but I was astounded at how much peace and resolve I felt. Little by little, my relationships with
others began to assemble or reassemble.
When I finally let go of all of the reasons I felt betrayed or
victimized, I saw all of the gifts God had bestowed upon me. His love had been there all along, but I was
blinded by my obstinacy. Now, I am so grateful for His presence in my life.
In reflecting on my previous
experiences, I realize that life does not have to be so traumatic for all young
people. So often we accept that growing
up is difficult, and therefore nothing can be done to ease this passage into
adulthood. I truly believe that if we can learn to love and respect ourselves,
even in environments where insecurity runs rampant, the world would shine a lot
brighter. I don’t know who is reading
this, and I am deeply impressed you made it all the way to the end, but I want
to inspire you to say a pray for the young ones. Their every day rests in uncertainty and a
desire for acceptance, but they forget how loved they truly are. It is up to us to be an example for the
generations following of confidence, positivity, and unconditional love.
