What do you want to be when
you grow up? As a child, my answer to this question changed daily. At one point, I do recall establishing myself
as a future “ballerina nun.” I was indeed creative and compromising. With the progression of time, you would think
my focus would be narrowed to fields related to my strengths. However, I still love to dally in
possibilities of all various occupations.
Some may call me too open-minded.
While it is a wonderful thing to believe so strongly in oneself, I also
find it necessary to be aware of limitations.
In an attempt to define what I can do, I reflected on all the things I
do poorly. Yes, I am closing all of these doors, but that is only to open
cooler, more fulfilling windows! Here is
a list I have comprised of jobs that would be caustic to my health and
happiness.
1.Gardener
Flowers are so pretty, but
also so pollinated. A severe pollen
allergy significantly restricts my comfort among nature. While I do love the beauty of roses and
daffodils, it is in no way worthwhile to be sneezing all over creation for
eight hours a day. Nobody needs to say,
“bless you” that many times! Instead, I
prefer to paint flowers. Inside.
2.Any sort of
military soldier/officer/personnel
I wore a uniform or dress
code for 11 years of my life. I AM NOT doing it any longer. And as if that was not enough of a reason, I know
I lack the physical ability and/or motivation to be as fit at those
people. And then there’s my fear of guns
and shooting. And bad eyesight. And the curved curse of scoliosis, which means
I can’t stand up as straight as everybody else, and everyone knows people in
the military have impeccable posture.
Facts of life.
3.Chauffer, truck
driver, pilot, golf caddy
Due to my horrid vision and
serious lack of coordination, I do not possess a driver’s license. I know, I know, GASP. I think it goes with saying that an ability
to drive is a requirement of any vehicular occupation. So…that is out.
4.Scientist or
mathematician
I don’t get math. Like at all. Numbers and I get along like toothpaste and
orange juice: the result is a horrible aftertaste. If you like math, I do not
understand you at all, but I applaud your intelligence nonetheless. I accept I will never be good at number-crunching;
the foundation is missing, and thus my mental house is rickety and unreliable.
More than a few math screws are loose in my head, but you know what? There are
other kinds of knowledge that are just as sufficient.
5.Dancer
I really didn’t want to have
to put this on the list. But the fact
remains that I cannot spin without experiencing serious vertigo. If I ever
figure out the proper art of spinning, I suppose dancing could become removed
from this sordid list of don’ts. For
realism’s sake, I must pursue other artistic forms. ( AKA underwater mermaid
impersonations)
6.Priest
It has come to my attention
that I am female.
7.Farmer/fisher/
hunter
Farming, fishing and hunting
require hardiness and patience, two adjectives that do not describe me in the
least. Plus, I need a least a small
amount of sparkle to be happy. The only thing glamorous about farm life is the
potential for elaborate webs crafted by a very famous spider known as
Charlotte. I long for the city life.
8.Doctor/dentist/nurse
Blood freaks me out, and I do
not really understand how people get over that.
Hypnosis? Also, much of being a doctor means making quick, informed
decisions, and having the mental clarity to save lives. God bless you if you can do it, but I don’t
believe I can be that level headed.
You’re welcome. Come to think of
it, I am saving lives by choosing not to be a doctor. I am a hero!
9.Abortionist.
Well, I am pro-life. So this is an impossible occupation. Obviously.
10.Construction
worker of any kind (includes plumber, and electrician)
Building
stuff involves too much manual labor, and I am not a fan of labor. These are
skills Daddy did not pass on to his little girl. Not to mention, am I the only
one who still has a slight fear of electrocuting myself when I use an outlet?
11.Athlete
I think you need to be
athletic to be an athlete. If shopping
ever becomes a sport, I will win a gold medal.
From Tiffany’s. And then eat breakfast there.
12.Lady of the
Evening
I just worry that I would
loose too much sleep, that’s all.
13.Santa Claus
Maybe if I gained a lot of
weight, as well as the ability to grow a beard. The North Pole is too much of a commute for me as well.
14.Drug Dealer
I watch Breaking Bad, so I
know second hand that dealing drugs is a very scary, temperamental thing. I don’t think I could handle the pressure!
15.Bee Keeper/
exterminator
Bugs seriously creep me out
so much. I have an intense fear of
miller moths that has only gotten worse with age. I get goosebumps just thinking about it! (Actual
bumps, not the book series, to clarify)
So
there you have it! The top fifteen jobs I am avoiding. On the positive side, that leaves many other
professions (artist, singer, wedding planner, fashion designer, graphic designer,
and princess) to experience! And do not
these jobs sound like rainbows, sparkles, and joy? I think so too. So go out and make your own list of unlikely
professions. You may discover more about
yourself than you thought you would!
Whimsically,
Katie
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