Something which I am very fond of is making quizzes. High school friends can attest; instead of learning, I used to write quizzes on the back of my homework assignments for teachers to answer. This is the exact reason that math is beyond me. What even is math? So for your reading pleasure, I have concocted a special questionnaire on which to waste time. Think of it as a fun summer challenge! Grab your pencils, because the quiz is about to begin! And also, note that the questions get more difficult as time progresses. :) The first part is essay, followed by a multiple choice portion.
Question 1:
But actually, why can't I microwave/ cook my jeans in the oven?
Backstory: The washers and dryers in my apartment are the WORST. I've have actually had a friend tell me she thinks our laundry room is run by Satan. (Which is 100% accurate, and maybe I should spray some holy water down there). So of course I get just a teensy bit indignant when I take the time to actually do laundry- instead of trashily buying underwear from CVS to prolong the misery- and find that all of my clothes are still wet. That is an entire $1.50 down the drain, and a night's worth of drying my pants with a blow-dryer. Ain't nobody got time for that! So I casually suggested to my beautiful roommate Kelly that I could put my pants in the microwave to save time and energy, and she kind of gave me one of those slow blinks. The kind that makes you seriously question your intelligence. I guess I understand the danger with zippers and all but assuming there were no zippers, what would be the downfall? She argues my pants would simply be steamed, but I do not see the problem here. And, what about the oven? What if I just put pants in there for five minutes, just five. Would that really cause much damage? I am desperate to find out, for the sake of ameliorating the qualm of clammy pants from here on out.
Question 2:
Speaking of microwaves, why is it that if you press the one minute button twice, it's two minutes, but you press the 60-second button twice, and it is 120 seconds aka ... oh. I answered my own question. Excellent. Moving right along...
Question 3:
Why do I always think I look tan, until I compare myself to any other individual?
I honestly do not believe there is someone fairer in complexion than is me. Do I have some other vision problem that makes me think I look darker than I obviously am? There are days when I am so excited about my assumedly bronzed appearance, and then one person puts their arm up against me, and the sad pale reality ensues.
Question 4:
HOW on earth did this happen?
Question 5:
I have asked this once, and I will ask it again.
"Should've known, you was trouble/ from the first kiss; had your eyes wide open/ why were they open?"
Bruno Mars.
How did you know her eyes were open unless your eyes were open? It does not compute.
And on that note,
"You don't know you're beautiful/ that's what makes you beautiful"
One Direction, if you tell her she's beautiful, she would then know. ... Does that make her no longer beautiful? It seems to me that this is counter-productive.
Question 6:
Who's Dewey?
Question 7:
If one train is going north at 7 mph and the other train is going south at 10 mph, when will they almost run into each other, but choose not to because conductors have eyes and can just stop the trains and get out and just share a pot of coffee together?
A. Rainbows
B. your mom
C. 15
D. nothing rhymes with orange.
Question 8:
Neighbor is to cat as triangle is to...
A. yellow polka dot bikini
b. your mom
c. cat
d. 3.14meow
Question 9:
Do you ever feel...
A. like a plastic bag
B. your mom
c. like dancing
d. like the weight of the world is on your shoulders
Question 10:
What is the meaning of life?
A. money
b. your mom
c. I've been turned into a cow; can I go home?
d. Jesus H. Christ.
The best part is, if you answer all of these questions, I will compile your answers, and tell you what color your aura is! (This quiz is better than buzzfeed)
So please! comment away with your answers!
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